Backcountry Pilot

[TrevDog offline]

I went flying with my wife from Chandler AZ to Fullerton CA to go to Disneyland over new years. One the way back I found that about half way through the 3 hour flight that I had to really pee. but I thought to me self that I can just hold it and make it. As we got closer it didn't really get any better. When we were about 40 min from landing and really no where to land soon. I found myself dancing in my seat and using all my energy in hold it. I thought to my self that I can't land a plane like this. So I woke up my wife and told her to get the zip-lock that I had planned on being a barf bag. Had her grab the yoke while I relived myself.

I feel I made the right choice but what have you all done when you really had to go?

[Portage Creek offline]

I had an old neighbor that had flown most of his life in Alaska. He took a leak before every flight and always said. " Full bladders, Sir, have killed more pilots than bad weather".

The bag is better than the bottle.

GR

[Green Hornet offline]

I had the same issue but I was by myself flying from Roseburg, OR. to Palo Alto, CA. I didn't have a bag but that was a great idea. I used a water bottle and it was an accomplishment flying and getting things set up. I bought a Little john from Sporty's that also has an adapter for females.
http://www.sportys.com/acb/showdetl.cfm ... 297&DID=19
I'm an old guy so I expect to not last more than 3 hours but I went to the john just before I took off about 7AM but it got me about 1 hour into the flight. I blamed it on early morning coffee.
The Little John came in handy on the way to JC this summer after 31/2 hours of flight. Once again I was by myself over the NV desert so I am getting better at trimming so I can get set up. The Little john is much better than a water bottle. If ever there was a need for auto pilot this is the time but it can be managed.
I agree with your conclusion it is no way to land an aircraft in that condition.

[z3skybolt offline]

25 years ago...

...I was a passenger on a commuter airline flight from EVV to STL. The flight had been delayed for about :45 minutes. So another passenger and I decided to have a couple of quick beers while waiting. We had every intention of taking a leak before departure of the :50 minute flight.

Suddenly the flight was called for an immediate departure....no time for a pee. O.K. I thought: it is only a :50 minute flight. I knew that their Sweringer Metroliner did not have a bathroom: but it will be alright.

Well as luck would have it we went into a holding pattern approaching STL about the time that I was feeling some discomfort. After :20 miserable minutes in the hold we were released for the approach. My drinking buddy said that he was really suffering as was I. About 2 minutes before touchdown I was in such pain that I was becoming sick at my stomach and felt that my bladder would burst.

The flight was full and there was no privacy but I took out a sick sack opened it and held it close. There was no way that I was going to piss in my pants. We touched down and headed for the gate...the agony was something akin to childbirth. Gritting my teeth I knew that we would be at the gate in just a minute and perhaps I could hold out that long.

Lo and behold...the gate was occupied and the captain announced that we would be parking off gate, shutting the engines down and would have to wait for fifteen or more minutes. That was all my partner and I could stand. As soon as the captain shut down the engines I went forward, showed him my airline I.D. and said that I had to get off and piss on the ramp. I lied about my drinking buddy and said that he was with my airline also and in the same condition as me.

The captain stated that he could not let me out of the airplane and on to the ramp....even if it was after dark. "Fine" I said. "We are going to unzip our pants right here and piss in these sick sacks right in front of your passengers...we have no choice."

With that the copilot got out of his seat and let the passenger stairs down. My buddy and I ran around the nose and standing close to the aircraft.... proceeded to wash down the ramp. Never in my life have I felt such relief. While we relieved ourselves I had visions of myself standing at attention in the Chief Pilot's office come Monday morning. Shortly we reboarded and soon taxied to the gate. Not a word was ever said....and I never heard from the Chief Pilot.

Bob

p.s. I have carried ziplock bags in my personal airplanes for 25 years. Ever since I tried unsuccessfully to piss out the side window of a Citabria in flight.

[z3skybolt offline]

Then there was my buddy...

...who flew a Twin Beech for a corporation. The Beech was a wonderful airplane but was flown single pilot and did not have an autopilot. While ferrying to ATL one day, flying VFR and without passengers....Jack was suddenly struck with a case of Montezuma's revenge.

There was no time to land and he didn't want to soil his pants as the CEO would be meeting the aircraft in ATL. So Jack pondered.... but not for long.

You see the Twin Beech was a corporate model with all the passenger conviences, including a potty in the very rear. So....Jack trims up the Beech for straight and level then rushed to the potty in the rear. Just as he dropped his drawers....the changing C.G. caused the airplane to begin to climb and drop off on one wind. Pants around his thighs he rushed back up to the cockpit and retrimmed the airplane. The bowels were roaring so no tiime could be wasted. He trimmed the aircraft a bit nose down and headed back the pot. Halfway through his business the airspeed begin to howl the nose dropped lower and lower. A quick wipe a wiggling into the cockpit. Once again he regained control.

Four oscillations and four trips to the rear later....the physical emergency was over. Many times I have broke out laughing thinking of him....sitting in the rear, on that pot, watching the nose bob and weave. Stuck somewhere between diarrhea and aerodynamics.

Bob

[Roger S offline]

I just tell my wife to help hold it (the yoke) and pee into one of those gelatin urinal pouches. They solidify the liquids and help prevent from dumping it when done. It's funny, my wife has a bladder like a camel retains water. I did buy her one of those lady urinal adaptors years ago. It's still new, in the wrapper in came in.

IF I'm quite aways out from landing and am feeling pretty uncomfortable, I take the opportunity to go. Being in the pattern is the wrong time to be jockeying "things" around. Even if you do make the landing, I always find when parked, I either can't find the bathroom near by, or every kid learning to fly has brought his mother or girl friend out to show them their accomplishment, making the "stand behind the open door" or "what's he doing in those bushes" next to impossible. Not that I really care by this time.

Roger

[mr scout offline]

I carry the gelatin pouches as well, lots of my flights are 5 hrs. or longer and they work great.
If your having control problems you make want to check your rigging

[TrevDog offline]

These gelatin urinal pouches are they flight related or just generic medical supplies? Where would you get some?

[svanarts offline]

I used to work in the FBO to help defray my flying costs. I remember one day when an older gent piled out of a Piper Pacer carrying a mayonaise jar full of some liquid. He seemed very please by the huge grin. He was holding it up like some sort of trophy. He proudly announced that he really had to piss, and he did, and even though he lost the lid to the jar, he didn't spill a single drop, even in the afternoon turbulence. We directed to the restroom so he could dump his prize down the toilet.

Well done sir.

Me? I just don't plan for more than 2 - 3 hour legs.

[robertc offline]

Zip locks-good, coke cans-bad(too small) Used a zip lock during procedure turn outbound on IFR approach when I knew I wouldn't make the landing. Was able to pull out zip lock, use and zip before the minute outbound. That was a few years ago,so now one minute wouldn't be long enough. I also laid across the front seat of a Mooney when I found sitting in the seat was like trying to pee up hill. Easier to not drink before hand now that every restroom has my name on it. I may have to try the gel packs.

[denalipilot offline]

From http://www.chickenwingscomics.com/

[mr scout offline]

These gelatin urinal pouches are they flight related or just generic medical supplies? Where would you get some?

Try this

http://www.briefrelief.com/

[Terry offline]

Then there was my buddy...

...who flew a Twin Beech for a corporation. The Beech was a wonderful airplane but was flown single pilot and did not have an autopilot. While ferrying to ATL one day, flying VFR and without passengers....Jack was suddenly struck with a case of Montezuma's revenge.

There was no time to land and he didn't want to soil his pants as the CEO would be meeting the aircraft in ATL. So Jack pondered.... but not for long.

You see the Twin Beech was a corporate model with all the passenger conviences, including a potty in the very rear. So....Jack trims up the Beech for straight and level then rushed to the potty in the rear. Just as he dropped his drawers....the changing C.G. caused the airplane to begin to climb and drop off on one wind. Pants around his thighs he rushed back up to the cockpit and retrimmed the airplane. The bowels were roaring so no tiime could be wasted. He trimmed the aircraft a bit nose down and headed back the pot. Halfway through his business the airspeed begin to howl the nose dropped lower and lower. A quick wipe a wiggling into the cockpit. Once again he regained control.

Four oscillations and four trips to the rear later....the physical emergency was over. Many times I have broke out laughing thinking of him....sitting in the rear, on that pot, watching the nose bob and weave. Stuck somewhere between diarrhea and aerodynamics.

Bob

Thats funny right there

[Roger S offline]

Chief Aircraft (mail order catalog) also carries the gel bags.

I suppose those diaper briefs that crazy lady NASA astronaut used some years ago would work too. She wore them so she wouldn't have to stop to relieve herself while on a mission to kill someone over an affair she was having. I haven't heard anything about her lately, but I assume she ain't no astronaut anymore.

Roger

[a64pilot offline]

I'll regularly ferry sometimes up to 12 hour legs, On the right side of the glare shield is a bunch of small gatoraid bottles, but have a large cap. As you drink them, you re-fill them. Just be sure you don't drink from the warm ones . I carry beef jerky to eat as it has very little volume in it, I don't want to try to figure out how to **** in a bag.
You guy's read Jeremy's story about ferrying a Maule?

[Savannah-Tom offline]

I used to carry sick sacks around with me but I used the last one to write a note to a girl. I wanted to impress her by dropping a note. It didn’t impress her and for sure didn’t help me out.

You should have dropped an empty one to her.

tom

[hicountry offline]

For long flights I try to prepare myself hours in advance...not too much to eat or drink. Always preflight the bladder before getting in or on. Drink mostly water when flying...no soda pop or coffee.
As far as flying myself...I have a 5 hour bladder but only a three hour butt..usually am on the ground way before I need to be.
As far as using the John on an airliner..turbulance is not good!

[Green Hornet offline]

I heard of one guy who takes cold pills that are made to dry up your runny nose for long flights. I quit taking them years ago because of the effects on blood pressure but they do dry you up! sudafed or contac I think!

[iceman offline]

Well I for one don't have this problem.... I have a hole in the floor.. I just whip it out, let it dangle out the hole and go... I only do this in the air and not when landing so as to avoid scrapes and cuts....

[Green Hornet offline]

These gelatin urinal pouches are they flight related or just generic medical supplies? Where would you get some?

Gel Packs

http://www.sportys.com/acb/showdetl.cfm ... 299&DID=19