Please, take care of yourself driving and flying.
A recent joint study conducted by the
Department of Health & Human Services and the Department of Motor Vehicles indicates that 23% of
traffic accidents are alcohol related.
This means that the remaining 77% are
caused by assholes who drink bottled water, starbucks, soda, juice, energy
drinks, and shit like that.
Therefore, beware of those who do not
drink alcohol. They cause three times as many accidents.
This message is sent to you by someone
who was a drinker and worries about your
Truly the last of the worlds great procrastinators.