How to fly a helicopter

[AvidFlyer]

My wife hooked me up with a small Remote control helicopter from Fathers Day. It's a Chinese made one from a Kiosk at the mall. The instructions are direct translations and I found them hilarious enough to type up and post.

Forward

When you push the right control lever the nose incline to down the helicopter is moving to forward

In if flight does not have the impetus (WTF does that mean) to change the operating lever, but the helicopter still in airborne spun, by now might adjust in your hand on remote controls vernier adjustment knob, balanced does not spin until the helicopter.

This is no kidding word for word and the exact punctuation out of the manual

UHHHH okay..now how in the hell is a little kid supposed to figure that out... all it's saying is that if it rotates while your hovering turn the trim knob in the opposite direction...

Gotta love cheap chinese merchandise

[Tadpole]

UHHHH okay..now how in the hell is a little kid supposed to figure that out...

Kids read instructions!?!??!?! I'm sure they've played enough video games to figure it out!

[tcj]

They used the same guy to write that manual that translates Rotax engine manuals to English.

[Zzz]

They used the same guy to write that manual that translates Rotax engine manuals to English.

Poor bastard has to know Austrian AND Chinese!

A friend of mine went to China several years ago and brought me home a bootlegged DVD of "Star Wars: Attack of the Clones." It was a pretty poor duplication of the disc sleeve, but the best part was the description of the film, which went something like: "Join the unlikely Anakin Skywalker with friends to make battles of the Force." Crap I can't even remember, but it was really odd.

[y4]

I purchased a lathe/mill combo manufactured in China, it came with a can of "Dragon Fish" I though what the hell is that!.....opened it up to find some touch up paint!

[Meat Servo]

I'm a rotorhead, and from my days of learning I can tell you those instructions will work just about as good as anything else anyone will tell you. Nothing really makes a whole lot of sense that first time you try to find the hover button. My first instructor was from Iran, might as well have been chinese. Stupid helicopters anyway.

[Threefingeredjack]

Funny, that's word for word from the HH52A manual.

[Oregon180]

This site (engrish.com) is usually good for a few "lost in translation" laughs.

[mtv]

The school just issued me an IPad....Chinese built as well. NO instructions with this sucker, though.

Probably just as well.

MTV

[EZFlap]

For a couple of years, I made a sort-of living writing the instruction manuals for model airplane kits and ARF models. Included flying toys, Czech import competition free flight rubber powered aircraft, even a couple of cars and boats, and a few old-school balsa built-up models. Worked for a few mfg's including small garage kit makers, importers of Chinese kits/ARF's, to include Hobby People which is one of the largest.

Having considerable ability in this rare and specialized pursuit (forgive the ego trip), and thus imagining myself wealthy and happy doing this kind of work as a career, I diligently approached almost every manufacturer, reseller and importer of model airplanes that I could find. I explained how the instructions were the only communication their company would ever have with their customers, how the instructions were the de facto difference between a good and bad customer experience, etc. etc. etc. ad nauseam. Most of all, I explained how a good set of instructions built repeat business, got the product better magazine reviews, was the biggest improvement they could make over the lifetime of their product, and it worked out to being the lest expensive of any upgrade they could do. Some of you may understand that good instructions can make a mediocre product into an upscale or higher quality product, with no change in the actual physical product. (The fact that there are fewer and fewer model builders who know how to build properly is a separate, yet equally disturbing concept)

The old-school USA balsa garage kit manufacturer (MM Glidertech, great designer and true quality wood kits), the flying toys manufacturer, and Hobby People (a well-run business that cared about the customer experience with imported Chinese models) were the ones who placed a value on having a really good instruciton manual. ALL of the "broker" type Chinese importers or US retail divisions of Chinese or Taiwan manufacturers were not concerned enough to spend money on a top quality manual (forgive the ego again). They saved a few hundred or a thousand bucks by hitting the "translate" button in Google or Babelfish or whatever, and so you got instructions that say "glue the dog to the bumper, being cognizant to kettle the floozy".

[lesuther]

"glue the dog to the bumper, being cognizant to kettle the floozy".

Does anyone's floozy get kettled enough?